An Open Ended Universe

From time to time I'll post some of my old articles here. If it's a re-run for you forgive me. Remember you can also read my archived articles on my website. Here's one I wrote some years ago for the UK's The Universe.


Fortean Times is an irreverent, weird and wonderful magazine that reports strange happenings all over the world. In Fortean Times you can read about the abominable snowman and conspiracy theories, weeping Madonnas, stigmatics, ghosts and goblins. You can read about angels and aliens, UFO’s and crop circles as well as stories of miracles and monsters, myths and magic. The great thing about this magazine is that it reports all these strange happenings with the right mixture of humour, belief and doubt.

The editors understand that there are lots of gullible people out there. They realise there are hoaxers, charlatans, frauds and people who are willing to cash in on the superstitious crowds. In addition, there are some people who are sincerely fooled and others who are simply crazy. Despite all this, the editors also understand that strange things really do happen. There may be hoaxers and tricksters, but they are only believable because there are other genuine events in the world that defy explanation according to the usual natural laws of science.

The Catholic Church’s position on the supernatural is actually very close to the editors of the Fortean Times. When faced with supposed supernatural activity the Church does not deny or affirm. She does not say all weeping Madonnas are a trick, nor does she say they are an authentic miracle. She withholds judgement. When someone claims to see the face of Mother Teresa in a bagel or the image of the Virgin Mary in the glass of a tower block the church authorities usually do not comment. Faced with stigmatists, miracle workers, incorrupt bodies and heavenly apparitions the Church doesn’t deny or affirm. When a supposedly supernatural occurrence is so prominent that the church is forced to comment she always advises caution. We are told to look for all the natural explanations first. So when Pope John XXIII’s body was exhumed and found to be incorrupt the Vatican officials quite wisely said it was ‘remarkably well preserved’, and didn’t suggest that there was necessarily anything miraculous about it.

The church takes the safe middle ground. In contrast to this balanced view there are two extreme positions taken in our society. The skeptical person says, ‘Miracles cannot happen because there is no such thing as miracles.’ On the other hand, the gullible person believes every ‘miracle’ that comes along and is amazed by every strange event without question. Our society is awash with these two extreme views, and we desperately need the sound and sensible middle way.

Those who take a materialistic view deny the supernatural altogether. Some scientists believe the fixed laws of science can explain everything, and that miracles are therefore impossible. Some psychologists suppose that supernatural incidents are all in the mind—ignoring the fact that some supernatural events are witnessed by thousands. More open-mided theorists admit that strange things happen, but insist that these are simply natural events for which we do not yet have an explanation. This is a better answer, but it also doesn’t account for all the facts. Some supernatural events are simply strange, one-off miracles, and there is no other explanation.

The skeptics have their position strengthened by the huge numbers of people who are willing to believe in any ‘supernatural’ event. Fortune tellers, astrologers and ‘urban shamans’ are making loads of money with their so called supernatural gifts. Alternative therapists, spiritualists and angel-counselors are drawing more and more people into various forms of occult worship and superstition. The shelves in bookstores are loaded with books on witchcraft, casting spells and black magic. The supernatural is big business, and two old sayings are true: ‘There’s a sucker born every minute’ and  ‘Once people stop believing in Christianity they don’t believe in nothing they believe in anything.’

In the face of facts, the Catholic view is the most sensible. Like Fortean Times, Catholics believe that ‘there is more in heaven and earth…than the philosophers have dreamt of.’ There is a real supernatural realm. However, we try not to be gullible. We believe in miracles, but we don’t go chasing after them. We are dubious when faced with reports of supernatural events. We admit that there is much within the natural world that we don’t fully understand. We acknowledge that the human mind is complex and mysterious, and that much that passes for ‘supernatural’ may have more to do with the workings of the human mind than the workings of God. At the same time we do not deny the possibility of miracles. Indeed, we embrace the greatest miracles that the world has ever seen: the incarnation of God as a human being and his resurrection from the dead.

To deny miracles and to be gullible are both wrong. Instead we should live happily with the possibility of miracles. If we believe in a God who made the world, then it is no problem to believe that he might sometimes interfere with the world he has made. Miracles are not a contradiction of nature. They are the confirmation that there is someone bigger than nature. A miracle reminds us that creation is alive and open-ended. Anything can happen. With God nothing is impossible. The universe is therefore much more like a party than a stage play.

Catholics are people who live quite easily with the possibility of miracles, while not being that impressed by them. The attitude of St Thomas Aquinas illustrates the best Catholic attitude to supernatural events. During his lifetime a nun became famous for her ability to levitate. Thousands flocked to the monastery to see the nun floating up by the ceiling. Thomas Aquinas was taken to see the amazing sight, and after witnessing it he simply shrugged his shoulders and said, ‘I didn’t know nuns wore such big boots.’

This simple and humorous approach is the best way to deal with reports of the supernatural. Yes, we believe strange things happen. There are many things we can’t explain. Some of them may actually be acts of God in our lives. But after all is said and done we turn to the miracles we know he has done and is doing in our lives every day: the miracle of his birth among us, and his continued miraculous presence in our lives through the Mass.

St Ambrose

Apart from anything else, he shows what a bishop ought to wear. I think Mantilla would approve. Learn about St Ambrose here.

Mantilla on Lutheran Lady Bishops

Guest blogger Mantilla Amontillado is the founder of Veritas Vestments. She holds a degree in Ecclesiastical Haberdashery from Salamanca University. She has done the pilgrimage to Santiago de Compostella three times on horseback and is engaged to the famous matador, Senor Augusto Toroquilla

OK Hon, Listen. I'm really busy trying to set up my new business. It's called Veritas Vestments because you have heard of the term 'fashion statement'? Well, that's right. What you wear is what you say, and my vestments are going to speak the truth you know?

Somebody say, "Actions speak louder than words." Mantilla says, "Clothes speak louder than words." and talk about loud clothes, phew! Madre de Dio, have you see those vestments that the lady bishops are wearing in the Protestant churches? Sometime Father Longenecker sends me links and pictures and says, "Hey Mantilla what do you think?" He does this because he like to see me blow a fuse, you know? He says I'm one little hot tamale.

So he send me this picture of three women dressed up like bishops. He says it is in Sweden and they are Lutherans. I look at the picture and first thing is I'm not sure if they are women or men at all. I think for sure the one on the right is a woman dressed like a bishop and that's pretty funny. But with the other two I'm not sure. I think the one in the middle is maybe a woman who looks like a man and the one on the left is maybe a man who looks like a woman. But how you going to know nowadays? Put people in the same clothes, and make it long robes and who can tell? What you going to do, lift up their cassock and check? Anyway I think Father likes to send me these guessing games sometimes.

But I take his word for it and all three are women dressed up like bishops. Is this Halloween or something when they are all wearing costume? "No" Father Longenecker tells me that some Protestants like Lutherans and Anglicans also have bishops and they let women and lesbians be bishops too and they all dress up like a bishop and everything.I don't know about all that. It seems crazy to me, but hon, have you seen what they are wearing? You can tell they are heretics by what they are wearing. Heresy is something that is almost true, or true up to a point, and that's the same with these vestments. I got to be honest with you hon. They look to me like a cross between a horse blanket and a costume from that old TV show, Lost in Space. Father Longenecker say that the women kind of look like aliens too, but I had to scold him because he's a priest and he's supposed to be nice to people.

But there is a serious point hon. Listen. Why don't these people want to have a traditional cope and miter? It's because they hate tradition, that's why. They wear radical clothes because they are radical people. They wear clothes that express themselves rather than expressing the office they hold. I remember one time in Barcelona we get this young bishop who said he didn't want to wear a miter and a cope and ring and all the bishop's special vestments because he doesn't want to be special and he doesn't think he is any better than anybody else. Mgr. Quixote, who was my professor of Ecclesiastical Haberdashery at Salamanca University took him aside and said, "Your Grace, with the greatest respect, everybody already agrees with you. They don't think you're so special either." The new bishop kind of misses the point hon because he says, "Really! Then I won't wear them. I think they embarrass me. I don't want them to be looking at me."

So Monsignor Quixote says, "What I mean is they don't think it's all about you. They want to see the Bishop. They are not coming to see you. They are coming to see the Church and the Bishop stands for the Church. The Bishop's robes do something very important your grace. They block you out. With any luck you will get your wish and no one will see you at all. Then when you're gone the next bishop will wear the same cope and miter and they won't see him either."

Lucky this priest is pretty smart, so he says, "You mean instead of the fancy robes making me special they  actually make me not so special?"

"You got it!" says Monsignor. "The splendid robes are not because you're a splendid person, but because the office of the bishop is splendid. The better bishop you are the more you will forget about yourself."

So that's the problem with these robes that are 'creative'. They draw attention to themselves and they draw attention to the people wearing them and the people who made them. Listen hon. These vestments say, "Look at me. I'm radical. I'm a woman bishop. I'm something special. I am going to change the world." It is saying, "Women priests are good. People who don't like them are bad."

This is why these vestments are so bad. Because they are preaching to me. Good vestments preach by being humble. The only thing you should notice is that they are made from the finest materials with the finest workmanship. It's simple hon. Vestments should not send a message.

You want to send a message? Send a telegram.

Lesbian Bishops

Richard Ballard notes that the Swedish Lutheran church beat the Episcopal Church in the 'let's see who can ordain a lesbian bishop first' race. Pictured above left is Eva Brunne who was just consecrated as a bishop of Stockholm in the Swedish Lutheran Church. We should remember that as a result of the Porvoo Agreement Lutherans and Anglicans enjoy interchangeable ministries. That means Anglican and Lutheran priest and Anglican and Lutheran bishops are equal and can serve in each others' churches.

Apart from the foolishness of all this the dress sense of these folks is pretty abysmal too. I think Mantilla the Hon might have a few comments about this...

ECUSA Elects Lesbian Bishop

The story of the Episcopal church's election of a lesbian bishop broke yesterday and I didn't have time to blog on it. You can read the TimesOnline's version here.

In fact there's not really very much to say that has not been said already umpteen times. Archbishop of Canterbury: "This raises serious implications..." Evangelicals:  "We really are going to leave this time. We really are. We really mean it this time. We do." Liberals: "One more step away from homophobia! Hooray." Anglo Catholics: "A woman bishop and a homosexual! Does that count as two strikes or one?"

Homily Advent 2

Here is the homily for the Second Sunday of Advent, in which I tell the story of how I was once John the Baptist in Scotland sort of, give three step of preparing the way for the Lord, ask why John the Baptist baptizes anyway and remembers that he always points to the Lamb of God.

Bloggers Meet

Kat who blogs here as The Crescat came over to Belmont Abbey this morning to see why my head is so bald. It is because I am always Standing on My Head of course. Kat's blog is a great mixture of Catholic bling, cheerful sarcasm, Eastern Orthodox eye candy, pics of her dreamland Malta, nun pictures, manlace and all sorts of goodies. I will be forever grateful to her for inspiring the Vicar and Caitlin O'Rourke--both of those alter egos sprang fully formed into my mind after I saw their pictures on Kat's blog.

We had a fun, but short meeting discussing blogs and blogging and wondering lots of things about fellow bloggers....How much money does Fr. Z make blogging? Is his blog really about Latin Mass, haute cuisine or birdseed? Is Patrick Madrid the blogger to beat? Why should American Papist get all the hits? Why are all the Catholic blogs written by conservative Catholics? Are we just sad people with ego problems who can't think of anything better to do? Don't answer that!

This Year's Boy Bishop

Again this year at St Joseph's Catholic School we celebrated St Nicholas Day by reviving the medieval custom of a Boy Bishop. The Middle School altar servers elected Tyler Yearwood as this year's bishop for a day. He processed into Mass with his canons--seventh graders Theo Longenecker and Patrick McClear.

Before Mass Bishop Yearwood lit the Advent candle,  and after Mass he delivered a short homily about St Nicholas and the virtue of childhood. As they processed out Black Peter and Red Peter (the two masters of mischief for the day) followed the bishop--holding his cope. At lunch they handed out candy to all the students. Go here for the picture gallery.

Come to Belmont

I'll be at Belmont Abbey College tomorrow to speak at an Advent Retreat day along with Abbot Placid. The day starts at 8 with registration and coffee. Abbot Placid speaks at 9. I'll be talking about Praying the Advent (Joyful) Mysteries for Inner Healing at 10. There's Mass after that and then I'll be signing books at 12:00 in the bookshop.

Y'all come!

Former Episcopalian Bishop Ordained

John Lipscomb, formerly the Episcopalian bishop of  Southwest Florida, was ordained priest this week in Florida. Here's an article from the local press. I met John a few weeks ago when priests ordained under the pastoral provision all met in Tampa on retreat. We connected because he too was brought up as an Evangelical. His father was a Baptist preacher.  Both of us went through Anglicanism to the Catholic faith. John is married with two grown children. Congratulations John!

A New Missionary Martyr Spirit

My latest piece for the National Catholic Register is published online here. The article re-iterates what I've written here and elsewhere, that for the new Anglican Ordiariate to succeed the Anglicans will need to discover a new spirit of faith and adventure--a new missionary, matryr spirit.

They will need to step out in faith and respond bravely to Pope Benedict's generous offer.

Advent Doomsday and 2012

Have you ever noticed how humanity longs for an apocalypse? The typical doomsday merchant is the wild-eyed beardy weirdy on the street corner with his 'the end is nigh' sandwich board. He's the stuff of cartoons and comedians. He's the sort of loony who is only happy when he's unhappy.

But there are salesmen of the apocalypse everywhere if you only have eyes to see them. Last week I went with the boys to see the movie 2012. It was terrific. Apart from the sophomoric anti-Catholic bits, it was a disaster movie to end all disaster movies, and all of it built on some wonderfully kooky New Age idea that the world will end on December 21, 2012 because the ancient Mayan calendar runs out on that day.

As a child I attended a fundamentalist church, and we used to have regular visits from the evangelist Jack VanImpe. He specialized in foretelling the future with a heady mixture of Dispensationalist theories, Bible prophecies and yesterday's news clippings. We were told how there was a huge computer in Brussels called 'The Beast' which tracked everyone and how the European Community would merge with the Catholic Church to become the head of a New World Order. On top of that we were shown the equivalent of a Christian horror flick called, "Left Behind" in which the Lord Jesus returned and took all the true Christians to heaven in a flash and all the sinners were left behind. You better get saved quick or you'll be left behind. This was only one of a long series of Protestant prophets who predicted the end of the world in one way or another and at one time or another.

Then there are the secular doomsday prophets. The world was going to crash in the year 2000 when the computers would all go haywire and the system would collapse. At one time there was going to be a population explosion and we were all going to stand shoulder to shoulder and starve together. Now there is going to be a demographic winter in which there will not be enough children to continue our culture. There was going to be a new ice age and we were all going to freeze, now there is global warming and we're all going to roast and weep as we watch the polar bears drown.

The list could go on, and I expect if you knew more about history you'd find that in every age and in every culture people were expecting the end and predicting how it would come.

The gospel for the first Sunday of Advent is full of the same sort of scenario, so Jesus too was predicting the end. "There will be signs in the sun, the moon, and the stars, and on earth nations will be in dismay, perplexed by the roaring of the sea and the waves. People will die of fright in anticipation of what is coming upon the world, for the powers of the heavens will be shaken."


What is it in human nature that loves a doomsday? Why are we so full of fascination and fear about the end of the world?

Two reasons: First of all, because there will be an end of the world. This world is bound up in the matrix of time. There is an Alpha. There will be an Omega. Time began and time will end. One day it will all happen in a crash in a trumpet's clash. Deep down we know this and are always watching and waiting.

Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, we know for sure that one world will end, and that is our world. In other words, one day for each of us the lights will go out. We'll gasp our last and, if you like, our own sun, moon and stars will be shaken and the dark sea of death will roar and overwhelm us. It is our own end of the world that we fear, and knowing this, yet denying this we project our immanent end on the whole world.

Apocalypticism is a kind of sick obsession. It's a spiritual disease. It is personal fear projected to a cosmic level. What's the cure? Momento mori: Remember death.

If we constantly remember that we will die one day, and if we live each day as if is our last, and if we fear even more eternal death and the sin that will separate us forever from God, and if we strive to live each day in his life giving presence then we will be amazed at how we will have no fear.

Apocalyptic worries will dry up and we'll be able to say with a cheerful abandon--"The end of the world? Bring it on. I'm ready for it!"

St Francis Xavier

From a letter to St Ignatius from Francis Xavier...

Many, many people hereabouts are not becoming Christians for one reason only: there is nobody to make them Christians. Again and again I have thought of going round the universities of Europe, especially Paris, and everywhere crying out like a madman, riveting the attention of those with more learning than charity: “What a tragedy: how many souls are being shut out of heaven and falling into hell, thanks to you!”

I wish they would work as hard at this as they do at their books, and so settle their account with God for their learning and the talents entrusted to them.

This thought would certainly stir most of them to meditate on spiritual realities, to listen actively to what God is saying to them. They would forget their own desires, their human affairs, and give themselves over entirely to God’s will and his choice. They would cry out with all their heart: Lord, I am here! What do you want me to do? Send me anywhere you like – even to India.

What if we had just a small portion of the zeal of Francis Xavier? We would change the world!

The Risk of Education

Here is a re-published article of mine called The Risk of Education. It explores the proper resonse to teenager's questions about the faith and their quest for the truth.

Wonderful Wonderful Copenhagen?

The world’s leaders are soon to meet in Copenhagen to work on a new agreement to reduce carbon emissions in order to stop the global warming. All of this while we’re learning that, in fact, the global temperature has actually been cooling for the last ten years, that advocates of the global warming theory have been suppressing evidence of the MWP—medieval warm period, and leading global warming scientists have been caught tampering with evidence, destroying statistics and bullying climate change skeptics.

What interests me about the global warming issue is the religious dimension. By this I am not thinking of ‘earth spirituality’ or even a proper Christian theology of stewardship. Instead I can’t help seeing that the crusade against global warming is, well, just that: a crusade. In other words, it is a religious battle, and if it is a religious battle, then it is a religion.

Does not the ‘green machine’ have all the hallmarks of a religious quest? First there is the unassailable dogma that all the devotees must believe. Global warming is happening. To doubt this ‘truth’ is to commit heresy. To be a ‘global warming denier’ is compared to being a ‘holocaust denier’. Heretics will be ostracized, persecuted and burned.

Necessary for all good religious cults, the dogma is preached under the cloud of a serious apocalyptic fervor. Lord Stern—the English ‘expert’ says Copenhagen is ‘the world’s last chance to avoid catastrophe’. The Prince of Wales has said the world only has ‘eighteen months’ to avoid disaster. If these men were holding cardboard signs on the street corner we’d give them a wide berth. Is the wild-eyed apocalyptic fervor of the AGW crowd any different from that of any other religious cult? Every apocalyptic madman has a well reasoned argument and what seems to him a watertight case.

This dogma is produced, proven and preached by the clergy of the AGW Crusade: the scientists. They are the lords of knowledge, like scholar monks, they devote their lives to arcane research, they are the ones who guard the secrets of the inner sanctum. They compile the evidence, distribute the word, organize the conferences and seminars. They interpret the word for others. They are the priests and the evangelists of the faith—making sure that more and more are converted and committed every day.

The hierarchy supports them. The men and women of power and prestige oversee the operation and ensure its respectability and success. Archbishop Al Gore, Cardinal Lord Stern of England, and at the top of the list the Defender of the Faith: none other than Charles, Prince of Wales.

I exaggerate to make my point, but what interests me most is that, just like any other religious sect or cult, the AGW religion is consistent and logical within its own basic assumptions. It fulfills the same needs that any religion does: as long as you stay within the orthodoxy, not only does the crusade make sense, but like any religion, it gives you a way to look at the whole world and make sense of everything. Furthermore, it gives you a mission and a purpose. It gives you a group of committed people to which you can belong. On a dark night when the fear kicks in, it gives you not only a focus for your fear, but someone to blame.

If this is a correct analysis; if the AGW crusade is a kind of religion, it is worth asking where it comes from. First, I think, in a secular society it has filled a void. I would love to know how many AGW crusaders are actually devotees of a conventional religion. There is no way to know this, but I suspect most of them are non-religious. I only make this guess because the words and worldview they present seems distinctly secular. If my hunch is correct then the poor souls have found solace in a religion they do not even know is a religion.

G.K.Chesterton said, “Every debate is a theological debate.” If the AGW crusade is a sort of religion, then what is its underlying theological premise? It’s the religion of the secular, humanist. The secularist rejects Christianity, but doesn’t necessarily espouse radical atheism. Most of them drift therefore into a vague sort of immanentism-- a sort of “God within” theology. “God is within each one of us!” they cry. Did not Jesus himself say, “The kingdom of God is within you?” This merges into a sentimental pantheism, “God is all around us. God is within nature” soon becomes, “God is nature.” There are some in the green movement for whom this theology has become explicit. For most it is an unconscious position held by people who have not only never had a theological thought in their lives but wouldn’t know that such a kind of thinking was even possible.

What is the proper Catholic response to the AGW Crusade? As usual, it is a response of common sense and a simple morality that springs from what we believe. God created our world and us. We should love the created world because it is a generous and abundant gift from God. The world is beautiful. We shouldn’t mess it up, and if we do, we should clean up our mess.

In the order of creation we are called to be faithful and careful stewards of the natural world. This means that while we may enjoy the world’s bounty, we’re not supposed to be wasteful. We should not be grossly materialistic. We should share with those who have less than we do. We shouldn’t steal their resources for our wealth. As good stewards we should save and plan for the future. We should not make material things into idols. We should live this way individually, corporately, politically and in the economic realm.

The Christian response is that we should love all things according to their intrinsic worth. We should love and treasure the creation, but we should love the creator more.

Anglican Vicar on Evil

George Pitcher is an Anglican priest who is also a journalist for London's Daily Telegraph. He seems to be a pretty typical liberal sort of Anglican. He writes here about a fellow vicar who is upset because he thinks there is devil worship going on in his parish.


There was certainly a witches coven in the town where I worked as an Anglican priest, and England has always had a reputation for a lot of occult activity. The witches were not a laughing matter. They took their worship seriously, and when you heard what they were up to it made you shudder. While not becoming hysterical or silly about it, at the same time I would take such stuff very seriously. In that town I had direct experience of a teenaged girl who became infested with an evil spirit after messing about with the witches.


However Rev George pooh poohs the whole thing and makes fun of such an outmoded idea as devils and demons. He waxes pseudo intellectual about 'dualism' and 'Miltonesque battles between Satan and God, supposing that if one believes in the devil and the battles against evil that one has to be dualist. He also ridicules the idea that the crucifixion was a victory over Satan. Never mind all that stuff in the New Testament... Instead of the devil, George tells us that, "Evil is the absence of the divine in humanity, made potent by the power of human imagination gone wrong."


Honestly, you couldn't make it up! It sounds just like that wonderful modernist bishop on the bus in C.S.Lewis' Great Divorce. "Really, my boy, one can't honestly conceive nowadays of a 'god' who is somehow 'up there' and a devil who is some sort of smiling fellow in red long johns with a pitchfork who is 'down here.' I mean to say, we now understand that all of this is really a projection of the conflict that goes on within all of our minds when we want something and realize we can't have it...."blah blah blah.


I think The Rev'd Humphrey Blytherington was at theological college with George Pitcher. They used to play croquet on the lawn and make googly eyes at the principal's daughter. George used to take Humph  for a ride in his Morris minor estate out to a country pub where they'd have a half pint of lager shandy, eat a pickled egg and discuss the cricket scores and agree on how awfully brilliant Bultmann was.

Mark Shea Needs Your Help

I have yet to meet Mark in person, but it will happen eventually. But I have lots of admiration for him. He is as prolific and as jolly (so it seems) and maybe even bulky as Chesterton, and he's struggling to support a wife and family by writing. This is no mean task--especially as writing for the conservative Catholic market is errrmmm... well shall we say 'niche'?

He churns out his blog, does radio spots, is in a new Chesterton movie with our joint buddy Dale Ahlquist, he writes for NCR, Catholic Online etc etc. He seems to write five posts  and articles for every one idea I ever have.

I do what I do with the security of a full time post in a Catholic school. Mark keeps plugging away producing books, going on the speaking trail. By the way--if anyone out there is jealous of those guys who are on the 'Catholic Speakers' Circuit' well don't be. It's darned hard work and very often for little return except to know that you're helping to spread the word and people seem to be helped by it.

Anyway, Mark does a quarterly tin cup rattle. If you can, hop over there and give him some loot or buy one of his books.

You might even sign up as one of his followers. The poor fellow is feeling low because I have one more than him....

Seriously, if you can help him out, do. I'm going to.

It's Odd about Todd

Everytime I sit down to compose a Todd Unctuous post I say to myself, "Now I really have to go over the top this time." Every time Todd appears at least one reader is fooled into thinking I've drafted a lefty journo on to my blog. So each time I make Todd even bigger, even stupider, even more contradictory and bigoted and hypocritical and I think, "Surely no one will be fooled this time!"

Still someone is taken in. Alas, if you are one of the poor people who were duped, I apologize. I'm not blaming you. What is remarkably frightening is that my satire--even when I think it is hugely overdone--must still be so close to the real MSM reporting because it still fools people.

And no one commented on the fake memoirs of former presidents. I thought Calvin Coolidge's Fewer Words Were Never Spoken was actually pretty good, (even if I do say so myself)

Can any readers offer us in the combox some of their own ideas for titles for fake presidential memoirs?

From St Gregory Nazianzen

The very Son of God, older than the ages, the invisible, the incomprehensible, the incorporeal, the beginning of beginning, the light of light, the fountain of life and immortality, the image of the archetype, the immovable seal, the perfect likeness, the definition and word of the Father: he it is who comes to his own image and takes our nature for the good of our nature, and unites himself to an intelligent soul for the good of my soul, to purify like by like.