Conspiracy Theories are Self contradictory

Conspiracy theories are a waste of time because they are internally self contradictory.

They are internally self contradictory because they are based on an underlying assumption that things are not what they seem, and that there is a conspiracy to cover the truth and project a lie. However, if things are not what they seem, then the conspiracy theory is also not what it seems. Once you enter the twilight zone of the conspiracy theorist everyone is a probably liar and every theory is just as credible as the next one. That has to include the conspiracy theorist as well, for isn't the conspiracy theorist actually cooking up a conspiracy of sorts himself?

Then we get into the tail-chasing madness in which the conspiracy theorists are all conspiring to dish out a false version of the truth. In other words, conspiracy theorists become conspirators.

They chase their tails in a kind of nail biting, wild eyed introspection which follows the irrational logic of insanity: You start with the conspiracy theory. If there is no evidence for the official line it proves that 'they'
are lying. If there is evidence, then it must be a fake. If there is incontrovertible scientific evidence it proves how very good 'they' are at covering up. If there are eyewitnesses it shows how easily people can be bought.

Conspiracy theorists tiptoe through quicksand. All evidence is suspect. All witnesses gullible dupes. All authority is involved in the massive cover up.

Let me illustrate how the fault of being internally self contradictory is revealed: Let's take an interesting and historical conspiracy--that Queen Elizabeth I was a man. This is the old story of the Bisley Boy. To be brief, the conspiracy is that the infant Elizabeth was in the country town of Bisley during the plague. She died and the villagers--terrified of the king's wrath--substituted the only other red haired child of that age, and it was a boy. Chances were that he would die young as well, and no one would know. But he survived, and the older he got and the more it looked like he would inherit the throne the more it was in his, and everyone else's (who was in the know) interest to maintain the fiction. For the conspiracy theorist this explains Elizabeth never marrying, never allowing herself to be seen unclothed even by her handmaids, it explains her being bald, having a deep voice, enjoying masculine sports like hunting, wearing wigs and heavy make up, and it explains why she forbade an autopsy after her death.

Now for those who like conspiracy theories, this is a humdinger. The problem is, as with all conspiracy theories, it is internally self contradictory, for if the received truth that Elizabeth was female is overturned, why then most anything, with a little bit of 'evidence' might be promoted as the 'truth'. We might say (as some do) that Elizabeth was actually William Shakespeare. We might cook up some other conspiracies and say she was a witch, or that she was cursed by the ghost of Ann Boleyn or that Mary Queen of Scots was not beheaded, and instead Elizabeth was beheaded and Mary Queen of Scots took the throne, but to avoid rebellion she pretended to be Elizabeth and all her courtiers (for fear of losing their own heads) helped to maintain the fiction.

The number of conspiracy theories is only matched by the amount of imagination people have along with the need to find some greater hidden meaning to it all. It's a form of illness and the final slam for conspiracy theorists is to ask, 'So what?' So what if JFK was actually murdered by LBJ, George Bush and the Cuban Cigar manufacturers? Can you do anything about that? So what if you discover incontrovertible proof that George W Bush murdered JFK Jr in a rigged plane crash or Elvis ate a poisoned peanut butter sandwich or Bill Clinton is a secret Rockefeller love child? Or Princess Diana was murdered by an international secret group of reptilian aliens. What are you going to do about it? Nothing. So at worst it's a waste of time and at best its an amusing hobby.

If you want to wonder at the hidden meaning of all things I recommend meditating on the mystery of Divine Providence.

Why There is No Conspiracy

I'm already hearing of the conspiracy theories around Bin Laden's death: "he's not really dead. They only killed his double." or "He was dead long ago. This is all a publicity stunt to get Obama re-elected." or whatever...

The thing which makes the story true is the inconsistency in the account. First he was killed in a firefight, then there wasn't really much resistance. He shot back and used his young wife as a shield, then he didn't after all. He was shot because he resisted arrest, then he was executed after being captured. The Pakistanis knew about him being there. No they didn't. They helped and gave support for the attack. No, they knew nothing about it.

If there was a genuine conspiracy of some sort the stories would be more watertight. It's the inconsistencies and contradictions that make it seem genuine. That's what really happens in tense, traumatic events--different stories emerge, different perspectives are given. Details are perceived differently by different people. Complicated reasons arise for different versions to be given. Different agendas come up which drive the narrative.

It's the same with the gospel accounts of the resurrection. There are seemingly contradictory details. Memories are skewed, perspectives are biased, accounts vary.

That's what makes it authentic. A conspiracy would have all the details tied up neatly and everybody would be on board.

Bizzy

The fact of the matter is, I'm very busy and getting busier. Along with being a school chaplain and parish priest we are in the exciting situation of having a parish that is in growth mode and there is much to do. Very much. One of the very muchness is that we are planning to build a new church, and if that isn't going to take up a precious lot of my time, then what is? So mercifully, I am having fewer speaking engagements and other stuff is being weeded out so I hope I can prioritize and this means that there is less time for blogging and even if I have the time to blog I don't always have the ideas, so I hope you will all be patient because Todd Unctuous has not commented on the death of Bin Laden and neither has Duane Mandible who thinks that Bin Laden was probably dead already for a long time but the Bush-Obama-Clinton-Illuminati conspiracy people kept his death to be released in order to boost the anti Christ's re election campaign and Mantilla the Hon has not been heard of for a long time and lots of other stuff, but with any luck I will get some time and inspiration before too long and keep going.

Thanks for being patient.

Divine Mercy

        Rock of Ages, cleft for me, 
 let me hide myself in thee; 
 let the water and the blood, 
 from thy wounded side which flowed, 
 be of sin the double cure; 
 save me from it's guilt and power. 

 Not the labors of my hands 
 can fulfill thy law's commands; 
 could my zeal no respite know, 
 could my tears forever flow, 
 all for sin could not atone; 
 thou must save, and thou alone. 

        Nothing in my hand I bring, 
 simply to the cross I cling; 
 naked, come to thee for dress; 
 helpless, look to thee for grace; 
 foul, I to the fountain fly; 
 wash me, Savior, or I die. 

        While I draw this fleeting breath, 
 when mine eyes shall close in death, 
 when I soar to worlds unknown, 
 see thee on thy judgment throne, 
 Rock of Ages, cleft for me, 
 let me hide myself in thee.